Just sit when you can

I just realized that the feeling of disappointment I have for not being able to sit zazen everyday is directly linked to my expectation of making progress with my meditation practice in some way.

This is a hard one to let go of. Cultivating an attitude of "no gain" in my practice seems just about impossible right now. I started up this practice for a reason didn't I? I want to get SOMETHING out of it don't I? But then Masters say when you sit zazen, don't have any gaining idea. Hurumph! What's a practitioner to do with that?

{just keep sitting}

Yes. You're right. That IS what I am to do. Sit when I can, but just keep at it. When the time and conditions are right my practice will develop a consistency and strength on it's own. All that's required of me right now is just to sit when I can and let go of any notions of what my sitting schedule should look like. It is what it is right now and that's just fine.

As I'm writing this post I'm realizing that the power surrounding the expectation of gaining something through my practice has dissipated by just shining the light of my awareness on it. I can let go of these expectations of progress and gain to just return to the commitment of "just sit when I can". "Sit when I can" and not worry about whether it's not good enough practice. It's good enough for me today.